My story is based on my experience and focuses on the latter kind of man wanting to find a serious relationship and live in one of the beautiful ASEAN countries.
The ASEAN countries:
• Thailand
• Vietnam
• Indonesia (Bali)
• The Philippines
• Cambodia
• Singapore
• Malaysia
• Myanmar
• Brunei
• Laos
I made the list in the order of the generally favored countries. The top 3 are Thailand, Vietnam, and Indonesia, with which I primarily refer to Bali.
It’s possible and relatively easy for men of a slightly advanced age to meet and form relationships with younger Southeast Asian women.
I’ve done it several times myself during my last 3 years of on-and-off travel in the region. Sometimes the relationship works, other times not. My current one is flourishing!
However, when I say “relatively easy,” it’s not as straightforward as that sounds.
In fact, it’s tough to find a “real” relationship that is not only centered around money. One must understand that, come to terms with it or leave the region.
Of course, it’s possible to find a relationship only about love without financial expectations attached.
For that to happen though, you’ll need a great job in a respected company with equally educated and respectful colleagues.
Then that miracle may happen.
However, for most of us mortals, the general rule of thumb in the top SEA destinations is that most women expect to be fully supported financially and in some (or many) cases, expect a “salary” to be your girlfriend or wife.
They don’t necessarily ask for this for intimate reasons – they need the money to support themselves and their poor families that live in small villages far away.
Their thinking goes like this:
If I am with an older man from the West who can afford to live here, working or not, I must surely be worth it for him to support my needs and my family.
That’s how most women who don’t have a stable or just a low-income job in SEA think,
If a woman has a decent-paying job, she probably will not make a salary or any financial support requests. If that’s the case, you’ve got a double-edged sword.
That woman is more or less self-sufficient, doesn’t need you, and makes you replaceable if you step out of line. Believe me that happens a lot to Western men in SEA.
They get drunk, cross the line and do stupid things, if you know what I mean.
Then they get caught and lose their girlfriend or wife.
The general summary for most Western men in SEA:
If you wish to find and settle down with a younger female partner in SEA, you must be prepared to cover living costs and more.
If you don’t, you will not find a good woman but instead spend most of your time and money in seedy hook-up bars.
Trust me again – you don’t want to be one of those men!
Final Thoughts
If you think about it, it’s similar in the West. Even though there are far more independent women who work hard in excellent jobs, men are “usually” expected to pay for most things. That, over time, can get very expensive.
Again, that was my personal experience in an 18-year-long marriage with a Western woman. It ended in divorce and me losing hundreds of thousands of dollars after investing millions into our marriage, family, houses, cars, etc.
If you’re a decent and kind person, you can find an attractive and intelligent female partner in South East Asia. But either way, you have to pay!
You only need to comprehend what’s expected of you in return. Now when I think about that, it’s not that bad of a deal.
You can live in a beautiful tropical country that’s warm, find a younger life partner, spend far less money than you would in the West for your living costs, and have a pretty wife too!
Good luck to you men planning on moving to South East Asia.
Rob
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