One night I flipped and rolled my car while driving home drunk in France. Chaos erupted, with the police everywhere — the next thing I knew, I woke up in the drunk tank.
That’s what nightlife does to you. You drink too much, you think you’re invincible, you may dabble with some drugs here or there, and then stupidly believe you can safely drive home.
Side note: To my defense, where I lived then, taxis weren’t available in the early hours.
My options were to walk for an hour at 4 am or risk a short 10-minute drive home.
I’d done both in the past and always made it back.
When I walked, it wasn’t a matter of me choosing that option — it was because I couldn’t find my car in the car park.
Yep, that’s how bad it was, me and nightlife — we didn’t get along.
After that scary experience some 15 years ago, I quit the nightlife game and cleaned up my act, mostly staying home in the evenings and enjoying the days instead.
Fast forward to the now — I went out again & experienced nightlife!
My lovely better half likes to play pool from time to time. I really don’t — I used to, but that was long ago.
The problem with bars and pool is that most of them are packed with sleazy ex-pats where I was in Cambodia.
There’s nothing worse and more unbearable for me than a bar full of loud-mouthed ex-pats.
As I wanted to appease my girlfriend, I looked for a quieter place and found one. This cute bar tucked away in a small courtyard off the beaten path only ever had a handful of customers at best and seemed peaceful.
We went there for the third time. There were no customers — only the owner, a couple of her friends, and the bar manager.
The games commenced — both pool and the tiger dance!
My lady and I started playing pool and were having a grand old time, laughing, talking, and happy.
Sadly and suddenly, the drunk English bar manager stepped up to the table and started talking to my girlfriend about her work.
He was clearly a total knob as he didn’t even acknowledge me, let alobe say hello! He simply rambled on with his bullshit to my girlfriend, interrupting our fun and “alone time.”
It soon was clear that he was too drunk to realize what he was doing. He was trying to chat up my girl right in front of me.
She, being young and naive didn’t know this was happening until I stepped in.
I politely asked for him to leave and let us continue the game — he ignored me and kept talking to my girlfriend as if she were with him.
It was quite a stunning scene to witness. I scratched my head, and asked myself:
“Is this really happening now? Is this guy actually chatting up my girl in front of me?”
Yep, it was real!”
Finally, I stepped in and placed a pool cue between them.
I said:
“My friend, please step away from my woman now, or we will have a serious problem. We are enjoying ourselves alone and do not want you messing things up.
We did NOT invite you to join us!”
As I had presumed, this bloke was what I nickname a TT — Total Tosser ( I hope you know what that means).
He didn’t walk away. Instead, he grabbed my lady’s stick and told me to play him for her!!!
Can you believe that? That can only happen with a drunk and dumb English man.
I said nothing, grabbed my girlfriend by the hand, and went to pay our bill.
The Grand Finale of my last trip into nightlife!
As we walked out, this pathetic freak got off his chair and blocked our way out while threatening to hit me.
“Bad idea, mate!
You don’t know me or who I am. I advise caution, or you will regret this.”
He was too stupid and drunk to get it. He kept moving forward. So, I had no choice.
I took the Muay Thai Tiger pose, lowering my center of gravity, ready to strike the back of his left knee with a low kick. I did just that.
But — I positioned the kick perfectly not to be a final blow. Instead, it was a tickle and a massive warning shot to his mushed-up brain.
“Kick No 2 won’t be gentle, mate.
It’s time to F… Off, or I’m kicking off, and you are done for.”
My warning and action did the job — he immediately sat down, said sorry, and we left.
Please read my related life story here:
Final Thoughts
Unfortunately, folks, that’s nightlife. No matter where you may be, it’s the same everywhere.
I am grateful for the skills I’ve taught myself and the fact that I can gauge a situation, no matter how threatening it may be, and defuse it with my words, body language, and moves.
There are 2 lessons in this story:
1 — Learn self-defense skills. Thai Boxing is the best one, in my opinion.
2 — Don’t go out at night. It’s just not worth it. Enjoy the days instead and watch movies or read at home with your loved ones.
Rob
MBA from Robert Kennedy College & University of Cumbria, UK.
Certified Nutritionist & Health Coach | Trainer | Blogger | Copywriter | Author
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